It appears it is 10 years since I last wrote a blog! Returning to my writing and photography is now long overdue and with new beginnings now seems like the right time to start again.

As 2025 draws to a close and we drift into 2026 it is certainly a time of intense reflection for me.  I would not be lying if I confessed this and other recent years, have not been easy for me. Recurring depression, rejection, onset of middle age, a broken engagement, career uncertainly, abuse and lack of self-worth have taken their toll as I struggle to navigate through life.

When I recently heard those immortal words ‘you are a covert narcissist’ and ‘alcoholic’ it came as a devastating shock that rocked me to the core.  With my mind spiralling out of control, on a roller-coaster ride that had no breaks, it was time to wake up and really start examining the person I am, whilst considering ‘who I am’ through the eyes of others. 

Obviously, it is important to search inwardly to try and understand fact from fiction.  It would be folly not to take the opportunity for self-learning and self-improvement whilst exploring my reality, understanding who I am, what I represent and how others perceive me.  There can often be a conflict (self-versus others’ perceptions) and there are times on the voyage through life when the importance of having reality checks become a stronger priority.

With all my other life issues, now is the time for drastic and immediate action.  Life has taken me to some dark places where positivity and clarity were alien words, they were replaced with pessimism and confusion.  My mind has lived in a whirlwind of self-destruction that was incapable of finding new paths whilst trying to adapt to the evolution of life.

I have a plan, a life developing plan that will take me on a new voyage of discovery.  It is time to learn from the demons I have been fighting for so long and regain the positivity and confidence that once were the driving force of my sporting success and career.  They have languished, absorbed in self-pity, for far too long and the precious years are now being wasted, those ever-reducing precious years that mid-life has tortured me to fear.

Project 55 is the title of the voyage that will celebrate my 55th year on this planet whilst experiencing 55 amazing things in the year.  This will be a range of adventures, sports, challenges and travels that I will document through photography, writing and video reels.  The year will take me scuba diving in the Galapagos Islands and trekking in the Himalayas, witnessing some of the most incredible marvels our planet beholds. 

I will race a bike across the French Alps, compete in a triathlon, run the Mont Blanc 55 Ultra marathon, Kitesurf a 55-mile downwinder in Brazil and take a mountain bike across the 55-mile stretch from the West to East coast of  England. There will be some sailing adventures and projects to involve others whilst raising money for charity.  The list will be longer but this gives a glimpse of my life for the next two years.

2026 will be the year of preparation; the year of physical training, technical improvements, logistics and financial planning.  There will be a focus on mental resilience as I condition myself and my mind to become a much better version of myself, with a clear path forward to the next stages of my life. The time has come to discover a new purpose and get back on top.

2027 will be the year of Project 55 and I plan to candidly share my story, the struggles, the jubilations and outcomes.  Ultimately my dream goal is to write a book; a travel/adventure book that will be full of humour and motivational tools to help inspire others. Maybe ‘55 Shades of Blue” could be the title.

My reason for sharing my story is simple.  If I can inspire just one person and help another by telling my story and sharing my journey then it will be worth every ounce of effort.

As for being an alcoholic; not possible if I am to achieve all these goals.  The covert narcissist; I will continue to work on this notion with my therapist and heal accordingly.